I have given birth two times up til now.
First time at a „birthhouse“, which is a normal flat (business) run by midwifes where you can give birth without the presence of any doctors in a homy atmosphere.
Second time I gave birth at home in a birthpool by myself. The midwife was called when the baby was halfway born. It was more or less a birth on my own. Big sister was also present.
The first one was a very meditative birth in which I fell out of the conscious world.
The second birth was much more aware due to the fact that I thought that I had to have more control and oversight about what happens as there was nobody but me who had an experienced eye on what happened.
The next baby I want to give birth to will be born? I do not know where. Where we feel good. The next time I want to sink again into the deep cosmic feelings that accompany birth. I do not want to concentrate again so much on controlling what takes place.
Body and mind will always recognize if anything goes wrong. There is no need to give any special attention to that.
Birth is often known or assumed as very painful or even negative experience the women have to go through.
The outcome is for sure suggested most of the time as a happy experience because now you have a baby. What happens in between, between the first waves and the baby born is conceived as a horrific thing for most women and men. The standard sentence to cover all doubts is: The main thing is that the baby is healthy.
But what about the mother? And her feelings? Medical traumatized births? That take place most of the time. Women meanwhile do not even realize they had a bad birth because it has become so average.
For me birth is neither painful for me giving birth nor for the baby being born. For me, pregnancy and especially birth is a cosmic spiritual happening. The power of nature can be felt bodily and mentally and takes over to transorm the baby from the inside universe to the outside sphere. The woman is transformed from woman to mother and from human to godly lifegiver.
In case of fear or danger, a woman is able to stop birth or better to say: lengthen the time til the baby is born. But women can not stop the process of birth once starting to enroll. Birth is somehow like a natural programm that sleeps in every female body that starts when the time/baby is ripe. No apple can hang on a tree forever.
Why is it, that everybody started to believe that birth is dangerous, unsure, unpredictable and needs to be obtained, lead, conducted and medically supported? Why do we assume that birth as a body ability is so full of failure?
Women let go all the female knowledge to „specialists“, mostly men, that claimed to know better. They lost the trust in themselves.
If you have had the power (not luck) to free yourself from these artificially monitored births and pregnancy scenarios and have felt the power of nature working in you giving birth, you will never believe anyone but yourself anymore. Every woman is a master in that field.
Medical systems raped or women let themselves be raped by this supervison and let go selftrust and bodyknowledge.
So, how can I say that birth is a happy experience and not a painful awful happening?
When birth starts, it is like a button is pressed and you realize (slowly or suddenly) that you are in the process. (Remember J.-M., when you suddenly feel that you are involved in the family constelllation as a character that feels...it somehow feels like that)
You then have the chance to gratefully, willingly follow everything that comes now or you can try to restrict yourself from following. If you choose the second option, most of the time birth will occur as painful. If the mind does not walk the same path as the body, the nature, all what comes is suggested as painful. And can indeed be painful because nature`s force will try to develop the baby also aginst the woman`s will!
So yes, birth then is pain. Maybe also painful for the baby. It can nevertheless come to a good end without Caesarian or medical brutality actions but the chance is much higher for medical interventions if the woman can not let herself go into birth. Or she is not supported the right way as it is most of the times in hospitals.
Diving into the birth process willingly is often a question of selftrust, selfawarness, selfesteem. And more often these mindsets are early destroyed by doctors, friends, negative birth stories and experiences (that exist in increasing amounts) of others.
I have chosen to trust my body, keep good care of myself and be aware of all body needs and feelings while being pregnant. I have chosen with my second child not to see the doctor anytime and I have had no ultrasound or anything. Midwife checked the heartbeat, felt the baby in the womb and that was all about it. I had no worries and bad feelings disturbing me. Nobody made me afraid. This avoidance of other opinions, checkups and tests gave me the best selftrust I could get. What better sign can there be as a moving baby inside?
Many women forget that even when some disease or deviation from the norm is detected, (which occurs naturally very often as bodies are not the same), that medicine has almost no tool to help the growing baby inside.
So for me, I have chosen to follow my body and give in to the happenings that occur while giving birth. In the first time you have not a real idea of what happens to you or at what exact part of birth you are. So it was nice to have a midwife around that ensured me that evrything was fine and told me at what stage of birth I was.
I dived into myself and greeted, welcomed every contraction that came. I flew into my body that did the work. It was not me doing that, I could exactly doubtlessly feel that the power of nature took over and led my body. I said yes to all actions and my mind drifted away to some extend. I could see meyself from the outside, said no word at all and just started to feel and move my body to positions that felt good. I ended up walking and standing most of the time although I felt like my legs had no more power. But this was because of being in a deep meditation status that made me sometime forget to tell my legs to hold me. The contractions were exhausting. More exhausting was the deep deep meditation/concentration of my body that was lead by the universal power. I could see and feel that my belly contracted. I did not have to push or make any action. I just felt I had to lovingly accept everything that happens and be deeply grateful and suppliant for what I was allowed to experience.
But you can not imagine all this overwhelming happenings as painful. I experienced something I had never felt before. A power that contracts your belly, the muscles, a mechanism that widens all your skin and also bones. I could feel the hipbones stretch and feel how my body led the way to make space for the baby. All these feelings, mentally and bodily are so indescribeable that they are mostly described as „pain“. Everybody knows pain. Falling down hardly, cutting yourself or smashing some nerves...this is well known pain. A feeling that you dislike.
Birth is no destruction, no mislead failure process. It is a secure programm that enrolls inside and that is perfect in itself.
My hipbones widening was one of the most perplexing feelings while giving birth. You are then aware of parts of your body that you are normally not. You feel unfelt things. It felt weird and unknown. I then felt fear because of this unknown experience but I in the same moment I realized that all this was needed to lead baby`s way. I immediately felt trust again as I recognized these correlations. So these unknown strange feelings that occur while giving birth (the contraction itself is at first an unknwon feeling) are misinterpreted as pain. What other word or description do we have? And pain is understood by everybody. But it is no pain. The body is flooded with positive energy. If you can feel and realize that birthfeelings will not occur as pain. And it does indeed not hurt. It is just so extraordinary strange that you think it must be pain.
The baby, in my opinion, also is not in pain although highly pressured from all sides while being in the birth process. I suppose that the baby has almost the same feelings as the mother. And many women explain that also the baby inside „wants“ to be born or so to say, helps within the process. Women have the feeling that the baby also makes some effort to go its way and help within its own birth.
In my mental focus I see birth a s a spiritual universal action. Women are the bodies through which an inside universe turns into another. This process is holy, overwhelming and positive in any way.
It is not horrific, painful and dangerous if nature is allowed to unfold its invaluable power.
Birth happens and every woman has then the opportunity to see the cycles of the universe, to fall into a deep meditation and see the world within its entity and integration of all what exists.